Hasan Minhaj Takes on the Cruise Industry

cruise industry

On a recent episode of the Netflix show ‘Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj’, ‘The Real Cost of Cruises‘ showcases everything that is wrong with the cruise industry. The show ropes viewers in by highlighting the growing popularity of cruises and then shocks them into submission with well-researched facts about the darkest secrets about the cruise industry. Personally, I don’t care for a cruise and the episode does nothing but reinforce my disdain for cruise vacations. Obviously, my ‘disdain’ is based on non-woke, not well-researched, personal preferences. So here are some of my non-woke reasons to never step foot on a cruise ship;

Cruise Vacations – I don’t give a damn; a ‘non-woke’ version

  • My idea of an ideal vacation is ‘fewer people, more nature’: A cruise is an antithesis to that idea. If I wanted to be stuck in a crowd of unknown people, with tacky decor and mediocre food, I would throw me another wedding reception party (brown wedding problems).
  • I don’t like lining up: That includes rides, attractions, getting on/off an island.
  • All-inclusive? Count me out: I don’t want your mass produced, one-size-fits-“all-inclusive” experiences. Same reason why I don’t like every chain hotel experience that looks and feels the same.
  • It’s not you, its me: I get sea-sick easily. Vomiting my way across islands is not a vacation. I rather pop gravol and go on a 2 hour whale watching excursion (I actually do).

Hasan Minhaj just ruined Cruise trips – Do you give a damn?

Although the facts on the show are hard to deny, am sure many viewers who are fans of cruise vacations would do their best to justify their preference. Let’s be honest, nobody likes to be made aware that their choices are bad. This one just happens to align with my personal preference. It is also not lost on me that the show was about the cruise companies and not the consumers, but it also begs the good ol’ question – Now that you know, would you change your mind?

As for me, I couldn’t give a damn for cruise vacations and now I have a false sense of #winning to lean on. Thanks Hasan!


Title Image Source: Disney


  1. Byron says

    Everyone has their own opinion.

    I have done over 25 cruises and only a couple have let me down. I have gotten to seen places all over the world and several of those we have been back to without a cruise. I enjoy meeting people on a cruise from all over the world. I have eaten some of the most wonderful meals on a cruise ship. I guess Minhaj just eats in the buffet on the ship he was on. I will also guess this guy has never been to NYC and seen all the people or China to see crowds. I find cruise ships only crowded on the 1st day and maybe the last day.

    • Ryan says

      You’re saying you don’t think Hasan has been to NYC…. the city he lives in, and where his show is filmed….

  2. Barry says

    Yea , so rent a remote cabin in the mountains and rent a ski boat to go out on the lake. Cook your own food ,or find a quiet restaurant in town with great food,tour the area for its beauty ..Yea i like that vacation too.
    I just got back from from the mediteranian on a cruise ship.
    I had great food on the ship, surpisingly fabulous entertainment,and met ,and shared meals with great people from all over the globe..a physicists from Isreal, a young couple on their honeymoon from canada, a family from france,a young lady from Guadalajara were friends for a week.
    With out the hassle of changinging hotels , we visited ancient Rome ,toured the vatican , saw the sistine chapel,the almafi coast,naples, pompei, wineries in Tuscany, toured florence, pisa,the french riviera, majorca in spain, and Barcalona…my wife and I enjoyed our vacation with my Brother and his wife who live 2 thousand mile away.
    Sitting on my private balcony sipping wine while enjoying the ocean for several days is not a pubic event…
    I cant think of a better vacation at the same price point than this Mediterranean cruise.

  3. Nestor Nogueira says

    I’ve been working on Cruise Ships for the past 15 years as a Maitre De (Restaurant Operations Manager) and perhaps these were unusual circumstances ending up with unpleasant experiences… But thts life.. It happens at times and we do feel it when we do not get the value for money when it’s Hard Earned!! All I’d is on behalf of the cruising fraternity is Keep Cruising Keep Similing and watch each day passing by whilst u are at sea!!

  4. Debit says

    Nature is stressed. We don’t need more people in nature. The more people are mesmerized by bright lights and loud music and stay away from nature the better it is. In fact Governments should pay people to veg on their couch in the cities, get fat and die early of heart attack. This is best for the planet and may be what people want as well. The only problem are the puritan republican dumb idiots who think people should not/ cannot enjoy unless they have suffered first. Never do a republican a favor unless you have punched them in the face first. The punch is the suffering part. A republican that does not have a broken nose is a bad republican.

  5. Brian Bonner says

    How about a extremely misinformed article? The cruise industry offers very small to very large ships. Accomodations range from basic to deluxe. My favorite ship holds 150 passengers. Points Miles and Bling exhibited a poor understanding and/or research in this article. Am disappointed in this negative puff piece.

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