United's d.r.S.L. Takes Good Care of Loyal Customers by Aiding Their Digestion

Discussion in 'United Airlines | MileagePlus' started by HeathrowGuy, Jun 17, 2013.  |  Print Topic

  1. HeathrowGuy
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    HeathrowGuy Gold Member

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    Since 2010, United's dear respected Supreme Leader Jeff Smisek has been working tirelessly to build the World's Leading Airline. He has personally promised that United will do its very best to take good care of its customers.

    In this regard, the d.r.S.L. and his 80,000+ Faithful Coworkers have shown excellent and commendable attention to even the finest details of our journey. In a recent Wall Street Journal article, the d.r.S.L. mentioned that United recently updated its nuts appetizer offering in its premium cabins. As part of the update, United switched from whole cashews to split cashews, which are smaller and easier for customers to chew, thus aiding the digestion of United's most loyal customers.

    United loyalists should praise this studious corporate attention to our well-being, not found at other airlines.

    You may view the article with the d.r.S.L.'s recent comments here:

    https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct...=aA3BRP9iMg0x-Xz6jqs2zA&bvm=bv.47883778,d.dmQ
     
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  2. ssullivan
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    ssullivan Gold Member

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    I hate it when people post links to WSJ articles, since they almost always require a paid membership to read.
     
  3. Gtitan
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    Gtitan Gold Member

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    Will these be warm nuts?
     
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  4. Misplaced Texan
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    Misplaced Texan Gold Member

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    Do. Not. Set him up like that.

    Sent from a place using a fruit thing.
     
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  5. Gtitan
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    Gtitan Gold Member

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    What? :p :p
     
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  6. Captain Oveur
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    Captain Oveur Gold Member

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    If the WSJ linking is the only thing from the first post that annoys you, consider yourself lucky.
     
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  7. mht_flyer
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    mht_flyer Gold Member

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    Search for the title "United on Mend After 'Awful' Year, CEO Says" on google directly and the article is free.
     
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  8. mht_flyer
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    mht_flyer Gold Member

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    Liked this comment:
     
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  9. Captain Oveur
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    Captain Oveur Gold Member

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    If Mr. Smisek is pleased with Delta, that doesn't say much for the future of what was a once great program in Mileage Plus.

    Paramount, I shudder to think that GPUs will be either harder to get, fewer of them issued and/or require something like a Y, B or M fare to enter the lottery.
     
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  10. guberif

    guberif Silver Member

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    So over the "DRSL" shtick...
     
  11. KenInEscazu

    KenInEscazu Gold Member

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    'The catering team rebid the contract for the heated nut cocktail served in first class by switching to split cashews from whole ones, a savings of $200,000 a year. "Customers don't care if it's a whole nut or split in half," Mr. Smisek said.'

    Apparently, they do. Price whole cashews vs. halves the next time you are in a supermarket. I think Planters knows more about customers' nut preferences than does Smisek.

    As a reasonably content UA 1K, I'm not trying to beat up on Smisek. It's his job to make money for the shareholders. He should keep in mind, however, that he is under a microscope in the age of the most rapid and accurate communications in human history. Each word should be carefully chosen, or not spoken until it is. Surely there are those who DO care if the cashews are whole or halves, and he discounted their preference.

    I don't envy his position, but he chose it. After the comment by his associate about United elites being over-entitled, one would think that they would learn to be more politically astute. We passengers are still quite sensitive after suffering through the last "awful" year all the while paying for service we certainly didn't consistently receive.

    My company is much smaller than United, and I'm not quoted at every turn. My world, therefore, has many major differences in comparison to Jeff Smisek's. OTOH, I couldn't afford to buy 1,000,000 shares of UAL last summer before it rose 87% (according to the article). He is well paid to not only run the airline logistically, but to represent it to us in a manner which makes us want to continue to fly them. He has even promoted himself as the voice of United by his somewhat narcissistic presence in all those pre-flight videos.

    Maybe I'm under-employed, but I think things through very carefully before I speak or write anything that will fall on the ears of our customers or prospective customers. It seems reasonable to expect the same from a man whose compensation could cast a shadow large enough to cover many a KenInEscazu's.
     
  12. HeathrowGuy
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    HeathrowGuy Gold Member

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    It is NOT a shitck.
     
  13. estnet
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    estnet Gold Member

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    Yes, I agree broken (stale) cashews are less expensive than whole (fresh) ones. Do I care? Yes. Do I expect better from UA - no. The nuts are often so stale as to be inedible and served in a mix (in business I have been getting cashew "pieces" for years - not halves, small pieces that are almost unrecognizable:(

    I guess some people can insert foot in mouth and still get paid ridiculous amounts of compensation.
     
  14. HaveMilesWillTravel
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    HaveMilesWillTravel Gold Member

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    Right, I don't even know what a shitck is. :)
     
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  15. meFIRST

    meFIRST Silver Member

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    Inspiration from Delta?

    Just dont turn MileagePlus into MileagePoo, SkyPesos style....

    Hint : Mr. Smisek, you won't win customers or increase your EBITDA
     

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