United Loyalists Gather to Celebrate 1st Anniversary of the Creation of the World's Leading Airline

Discussion in 'United Airlines | MileagePlus' started by HeathrowGuy, Mar 3, 2013.  |  Print Topic

  1. HeathrowGuy
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    HeathrowGuy Gold Member

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    United Loyalists Gather to Celebrate First Anniversary of the Creation of the World’s Leading Airline

    CHICAGO (March 3, 2013) – Today was a joyous day for many around the world as United loyalists celebrated the first anniversary of the birth of the new United, the World’s Leading Airline. Among the most noteworthy celebrations included the following:

    Dozens of United frequent flyers gathered for a weekend-long feast in Austin, a BBQ and beer fete intended to celebrate the bounty of great travels brought forth by the merged airline;

    Spontaneous United praise meetings took place among Premier cadres at airports in Los Angeles, Singapore, and San Diego;

    United’s faithful European partner, Lufthansa, graciously served a wonderful complimentary dinner and champagne at a gathering in its Senator Lounge at Washington Dulles Airport; and

    A formerly skeptical pre-merger United flyer distributed sweet confectionaries and gave greetings of encouragement to subsidiary United and subsidiary Continental employees throughout the United system, including the Denver and Houston hubs.

    Although the anniversary celebrations took on many forms, effusive adoration for United and the dear respected Supreme Leader (d.r.S.L.) Jeff Smisek featured prominently at every gathering. The merger has indisputably shown that the d.r.S.L. is the Lodestar of commercial aviation, a visionary with perfect clarity of foresight, and one of the greatest men who has ever lived. He has molded United into the best airline in the world, with faithful, skilled co-workers, a formidable fleet, and a route network no airline can hope to equal. All United Loyalists reaffirm their continued allegiance to the d.r.S.L., and eagerly await their next trips on the World’s Leading Airline.
     
  2. Wandering Aramean
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    Wandering Aramean Gold Member

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    In the words of the esteemed Judge Chamberlain Haller:

    [​IMG]
    Are you on drugs?
     
  3. harvson3

    harvson3 Silver Member

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    And then everyone flew home and everyone was upgraded on United's shiny new 787s.:(
     
  4. NYCUA1K

    NYCUA1K Gold Member

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    Forbidden in the celebrations was the mentioning of the world's most "technically advanced airplane in the history of civil aviation" that was hailed as befitting the World's Leading Airline(TM)...
     
  5. estnet
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    estnet Gold Member

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    Not April 1 - was this published in The Onion and you forgot to attribute it?
     
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  6. HeathrowGuy
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    HeathrowGuy Gold Member

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    It's March 3rd, and if any news source warrants an attribution, it would be KCNA. ;)
     
  7. BuckleandBoots

    BuckleandBoots Silver Member

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    Ah yes, Lufthansa's famed "today is the day of the week that ends with 'y' service." You forgot the part where not to be out-done UA made sure to invite everyone for light hors d'oeurves and heavy drinking in the newly refinished Terminal C.
     
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  8. Counsellor
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    Counsellor Gold Member

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    The teaser on the front page for this thread was "United Loyalists Gather to . . . "

    I figured the full title would have been something like "United Loyalists Gather to mourn the passing one year ago of a great airline."
     
  9. worldwidedreamer

    worldwidedreamer Silver Member

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    ...and all this time I thought MilePoint was interesting. yawn.
     
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  10. Misplaced Texan
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    Misplaced Texan Gold Member

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    But is it art?

    Sent from a place using a fruit thing.
     
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  11. TRAVELSIG
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    TRAVELSIG Gold Member

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    That was my thought as well!
     
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  12. Flying Machine

    Flying Machine Silver Member

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    Okay! You had me there for a moment. I was thinking that I missed out on a LAX DO.. Safe Travels
     
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  13. dayone
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    dayone Silver Member

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    April Fool's Day is next month.
     
  14. desamo

    desamo Gold Member

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    To paraphrase "When Harry Met Sally" -- I'll have what he's having.
     
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  15. eponymous_coward
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    eponymous_coward Gold Member

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    Clearly, United under the d.r.S.L. is well on the way to juche and has inspired their customers with an ardent love for their airline.
     
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  16. Pat+
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    Pat+ Silver Member

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    Yawn. What's the point of this thread and this continued rhetoric?
     
  17. Misplaced Texan
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    Misplaced Texan Gold Member

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    This is an excellent question. What is the point of this thread?

    What is the point of this rhetoric?

    What is the point of this tortured life?

    Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go smoke a pack of gauloises and contemplate the meaningless of this post.

    (In other words, it's humor. And maybe a bit of a comment on the equally over the top posts that dominate the UA board on Scammertalk. So chill. ;) )

    Sent from a place using a fruit thing.
     
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  18. violist
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    violist Gold Member

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    I believe that the word you were looking for was "decry."
     

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