What a weekend. A three day trip from Vegas to Trinidad for a much needed break away from an ongoing crisis at home instead turned out to be 36 hours in Trinidad (which was more than I would spend their again) and several days en route in both directions. Security in MIA was certainly interesting as the TSA Precheck lines merged with those without the Precheck almost at the point where the agents are checking IDs. The general confusion as a bottleneck formed somehow resulted in the TSA agent forgetting to return my Passport. When leaving Trinidad, the self appointed godess of security rummaged through my bags like I was trying to smuggle out the Royal Coconuts, One of my bags had the name of my roommate on it, which despite having my dirty underwear in it and him on the phone, that was not enough to convince her. Additionally, the bags went through the scanner five times after which I was down one mud mask and six lighters and was now the proud owner of a Bose headset that is broken in two, thanks to her sledgehammer touch. Upon arrival in Miami, I was sent through the 'search through your bags' customs area. At this point I had my computer bag, the bag with my clothes (and broken headset) as well as a handheld plastic bag which contained some duty free items purchased as well as my back up headset, a carton of cigarettes, ipod, glasses and a few other items. After that again identifying my dirty underwear I left only to find that the hand held bag was not with me. If anyone has ever tried to retrieve an item after already clearing customs, you know that it would have been easier to fly back to Trinidad to buy another carton of cigarettes. Finally after over an hour, the AA manager was able to take me back through immigration and then into the customs pat down dungeon only to find that the bag was MIA in MIA. One interesting side note. I was the only native born citizen and the only one speaking English in the customs area. Slightly disconcerting. I had one connection in LA before reaching Vegas, however, when boarding in MIA it was decided that my carry on, which had been fine on the previous five segments, including those where the six lighters and mud mask were still present and pushing the limits of the bag, was suddenly unacceptable to bring into the First Class section of a 767. Upon arrival at LAX, the bag was GONE. I can only hope that within the next few days that news breaks of a woman in Port-of-Spain developing a disfiguring condition due to an allergic reaction to a mud mask, an MIA customs agent who is electrocuted while wearing a set of 'recently acquired' headphones and an AA employee whose wife is filing for divorce due to his proclivity to collect other men's underwear.