Tell a libelous story about another MPer

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Dovster, Mar 21, 2011.  |  Print Topic

  1. Dovster
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    Dovster Gold Member

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    The rules: The story must have some basis in fact. However, the details will be so warped as to make the MPer involved look bad. I want to emphasis that this story must be a lie, and should be humorous.

    Preferably, it will be about a friend (and one who will take it in good spirits).

    My story involves Canarsie. Whenever I am in Atlanta, I make it a point to invite Canarsie to lunch. He always knows the best restaurants and, as I am paying for it, he has no problem in choosing the most expensive ones.

    My last visit, however, was different. I told him in advance that this time he was going to pay. Naturally, this put him into a state of shock and he arrived at my hotel trembling at the thought. He told me, however, that he had found a place to eat. It was a rather obscure little spot, named after a stone and a day -- Topaz Wednesday, Sapphire Monday, or something like that.

    Canarsie had selected it because it was unknown, and therefore not apt to be crowded, and he had a coupon which allowed you to buy one entree and get the second one for free.

    When we got to the restaurant, he immediately showed the coupon to the waitress.

    "I ain't never seen one of those before," she told us, "but that don't make no never-mind. I also ain'\t seen a customer in here before either."

    We chose a nice table, with a good view of the "Condemned by Atlanta Board of Health" sign, and after scrubbing off two menus, the waitress brough them to our table. Canarsie immediately ordered a hot dog, which, by sheer coincidence, was the cheapest thing on the menu.

    I ordered a half-rack of ribs.

    "The coupon says that ribs are not eligible for the discount," Canarsie complained.

    "Only a full rack," I pointed out. "Half-racks are allowed."

    He relaxed, somewhat, until he heard me tell the waitress that I wanted to start lunch with a Bacardi and Coke. I also asked for a glass of ice water which I immediately threw in Canarsie's face, thus reviving him from his faint.

    We had dinner (well, at least I did, Canarsie just stared at his hot dog with a mournful look on his face). When the waitress brought the tab, I took out my Amex to pay for it and Canarsie stuttered, "I thought you said that I had to pay this time."

    "I lied," I said.

    "That's not fair," he said. "It really was my turn to pay. Besides, if I had known that you were going to pay the bill, I could have found a much better place for us to eat."
     
  2. Cholula
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    I was going to guess Ruby Tuesday but I'm thinking that would have been a little too classy a joint for the two of you. Most likely Sapphire Monday IMO.

    I was actually believing most of the story until I came to this outrageously preposterous statement.
     
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  3. Gargoyle
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    Gargoyle Milepoint Guide

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    It was my pleasure, Cholula, to have you stop by today with your van full of tools, rebuild my front door, paint my house, and rewire my home office. That whole house backup power supply you installed is great.
     
  4. Cholula
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    That's even more outrageously preposterous than Dovster whipping out his Amex card to pick up a tab.
     
  5. jbcarioca
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    jbcarioca Gold Member

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    Except for the "some basis in fact" part I was all ready to go.:eek:
     
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