Good day, m'hearties....perhaps you think the Shark has expired, but no, I've been on the road in classic sharkfrenzy mode. And in this customary Shark mode, I flew recently from LHR to the EU on the Dilbertian machine. On an Avios redemption (nice that it was available on a holiday weekend but it would have been better had it not been for the 0600 launch....). As usual the actual BA hard product was quite reasonable. I was operationally non-upgraded to exit row for no apparent reason and on the BA 321 this isn't a bad seat at all. Someone even stole my Daily Fail from my seat while I was stowing my bag and the nearest FA lent me his Indy. Thankfully, there was no irop to destroy the experience. It's well known that BA handling of irops is awful but when there's no irop, it's not that bad. Warning: the checkin kiosks at LHR T5 have a problem reading passports that do not have precisely-aligned cover and info pages. At least, that's what the check in agent told me He also stated, quite correctly, that it would be much easier to just let people choose whether to kiosk check or do so in-person. I affirmed his response and assured him that there was quite possibly no more direct or outspoken worldwide critic of the NIGELS and NIGELLAS than I.... you all know this but of course, he didn't. His agreement speaks volumes. Why are BA management such dumba$$e# that they can't identify and solve these problems? I don't know, and neither do you. This demonstrates classic contemporary idiot IT systems design, with test passports that conform exactly to a tight spec and don't reflect the wider range of actually-issued passports. The kiosks didn't even have the bad excuse of reading furriner-speak, because I was using my recently-issued UK e-passport... one of the fiasco-affected ones from last summer that took almost four months to deliver. Lack of tolerance for reading even in-spec passports causes queing problems. The f%%% kiosks. Has anyone also noticed, these BA kioks never accept AS MP numbers when checking in? The cause is a mismatch of database field length with MP string, according to BA check in staff, it can apparently be countered by addition of zeros at the end of the AS MP number to satisfy the BA system but that creates a mismatch at the AS end and requires manual correction.... BA's supposedly-helpful staff made it worse by insisting I try again at different kioks before they would even permit me to line up for human assistance. This wasted 15 minutes of time and put me rather close to the checkin cutoff. We, the experienced pax, know very well when the kiosk won't check us in and we all know that it's a total waste of time after attempt #2. So let us line up after second attempt, why don't you??!! It's not "helpful" to waste our time at this point. So, yes, some things remain as DILBERTIAN as ever. Actually reaching LHR from central London at this time of morning is not easy either but I admit, that's not BA's fault. What was more entertaining was the large ad placed above the entrance to the T5 satellite transit system, showing the EK's skybar on the 380 and contrasting this experience with the BA equivalent....which is of course non-existent! Muahaha! Most amusing for them to put it at this location! At least BA enforced priority boarding for their own Colonel Blimps and fellow 1W elites.