My favorite international conspiracy

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Dovster, Feb 6, 2011.

  1. Dovster
    Original Member

    Dovster Gold Member

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    There is an international (female) conspiracy to keep me fat.

    In January, a member of this board told me that I am taking her to a high-calorie dinner in ATL when I arrive. (Well, actually it was my idea but I don't want to ruin my conspiracy theory.)

    That got expanded when it turned out that I am taking her to a second dinner, and also inviting a FTer who has not yet signed up here.

    The Beautiful Brunette has a week's worth of meals planned for LAS and made it a point to insist on places which have large dessert menus.

    Then, Dementia (my ex) showed up at my house with a large apple pie she baked for me. Naturally, this happened on the very same day that a friend from a local Arab village decided that I needed some home-made chocolate cookies, so she made two large boxes full. I had to squeeze them into my freezer as I knew I wouldn't get near them until the apple pie was finished.

    That was January. I thought that when Feb 1 arrived it would all end. I was wrong.

    Today, a package arrived from Germany. One of my closest friends' wife sent me three large boxes of various Reber chocolates. Total weight: 900 grams (just about 2 pounds).

    And, of course, Italy will not let Germany out do it. My UIG (Used Italian Girlfriend) is currently in her Tel Aviv house. I will be spending three nights there before flying to ATL and while she agreed to eat out on Valentine's Day she insisted that we have home cooking the rest of the time. Home cooking, Italian-style, is not exactly what the doctor prescribed for weight loss.

    Still, as far as international conspiracies are concerned, this is far from the worst possible one.
    lisamcgu and Mr.Flyer like this.
  2. Gargoyle
    Original Member

    Gargoyle Milepoint Guide

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    I'm not sure the plane will be able to get off the ground. You might end up stuck in ATL.

    Did he ever return?
    No he never returned
    And his fate is still unlearn'd
    He may ride the people mover forever
    'neath the terminals of ATL
    He's the man who never returned.
  3. giggs
    Original Member

    giggs Silver Member

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    I would consider this a good conspiracy [​IMG]
  4. sendaiben
    Original Member

    sendaiben Gold Member

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    Yeah, sign me up to be a 'victim' here too...

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