Let Us Praise the d.r.S.L. for United's Excellent Operational Performance

Discussion in 'United Airlines | MileagePlus' started by HeathrowGuy, Oct 1, 2012.  |  Print Topic

  1. HeathrowGuy
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    HeathrowGuy Gold Member

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    A short time ago, United issued a release indicating that the airline enjoyed an on-time performance in excess of 80% for the month of September, showing that the directives of the dear respected Supreme Leader Jeff Smisek are working well. His minions are to receive economic incentives for their tireless efforts under his guidance and care.

    On this day, the 2nd anniversary of the legal merger that spawned the new United, let us publicly praise the d.r.S.L. for his magnificent vision in making the World's Leading Airline an operational powerhouse.

    http://finance.yahoo.com/news/united-airlines-exceeds-time-performance-160000092.html
     
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  2. lhrsfo
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    lhrsfo Silver Member

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    And let us put our hands to our hearts in pride as he repeats the message umpteen times in the November safety video, otherwise known as the United Nation anthem.
     
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  3. KenInEscazu

    KenInEscazu Gold Member

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    I'm no great UA fan these days, and I'm really getting sick of seeing drSL's mug on every flight, but... I have been in the air a lot recently - almost exclusively UA - and they have been doing quite well with regard to their scheduling. If you're going, you better be there early. It's hard to arrive at the gate 5 minutes prior to scheduled departure and make the flight. If it weren't for their attorneys, I'm sure they would be pushing back while people are still in the aisles.

    On a side note, I heard a pilot slip up the other day and say, "Thank you for flying Continental." I thought, "I just wish."
     
  4. PanAm
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    PanAm Silver Member

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    Let those who previously doubted the vision of the drSL now hang their heads in shame. The so-called "poor operational performance" of recent months was in fact a necessary part of his grand vision. In celebration, the Central Committee has approved the dispensing of 5.25 ounces of free non-alcoholic beverages to self-boarding cargo passengers on most United flights during October!
     
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  5. HeathrowGuy
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    HeathrowGuy Gold Member

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    YES!!!
     

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