I was really nasty on Thursday!

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Dovster, Sep 3, 2011.  |  Print Topic

  1. Dovster
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    Dovster Gold Member

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    There is an Arab village about 15 kilometers from my home. In it, there is a car wash place which has become the unofficial "living room" for the older men in the village. They sit in its office area, drink coffee, play on two (very inexpensive and probably illegal) slot machines, and pass the hours just socializing.

    I often bring one or two kibbutz cars there to be cleaned and have gotten friendly with both the owners (who are young brothers) and some of the "regulars".

    On Wednesday, I went in and there was a Hassidic Jew from a nearby moshav (a type of community) playing on one of the slots. Let's call it "Slots A" for clarity, but it is no different from "Slots B".

    The guy was obnoxious. For a start, you can't actually put money in, or get money out, of these slots. One of the owners has to do it electronically. This guy would deposit a small amount of money and when he lost it, sit there screaming for one of the owners to come in (they were out washing cars) and put more money in for him. He could not bring himself to get out of his chair and walk to them -- he preferred to treat them like his slaves.

    I played on Slots B and had my cigarettes and lighter on the table next to me. Whenever he wanted to light up, he would walk over, not ask my permission, and use my cigarette lighter.

    His daughter kept calling him on his cell phone asking him to come home and he kept telling her he would leave in 5 minutes -- and then continue playing. This kept up for the whole hour I was there.

    I mentioned to one of the owners how obnoxious this guy was and they agreed -- they couldn't stand him.

    On Thursday, I went back with another car, and both slots were being used by "the regulars" from the village. This guy walked in and started complaining that not only was his favorite machine (Slots A) busy but the other one was, too. He then stood a few inches behind the man playing Slots B and didn't move. The player apparently became uncomfortable because, after about 5 minutes, he quit playing.

    This guy did not ask if I was waiting to play (I was, after all, there before he was) but immediately sat down and started screaming for the owner to put money in.

    Soon after, his regular machine, Slots A, became available and I saw my chance. I had not planned on playing but did. I put 25 shekels in the machine (about $7) and started playing. I lost the money soon enough, but went outside and told one of the two owners to come in and act as if I won 5,000 shekels ($1390) just to p!ss this guy off.

    It worked beautifully! The owner congratulated me loudly and the guy went ballistic! He literally started screeching. He demanded to know how much I had deposited, which of the games I had chosen, how many lines I bet and how much I bet on each line.

    It especially bugged him because he usually plays Slots A and if he figured that if he hadn't been so impatient and grabbed Slots B, he would have won the 5,000 shekels!

    The owner, meanwhile, poured it on by "apologizing" to me that he did not have that much cash on hand but that he would give it to me the next time I came in. I told him not to worry, I was in no hurry for it.

    Today, I went back and the owners were still laughing. They never told him the truth and this guy now refuses to play Slots A because he figures that it paid off so much to me that everyone else will lose for a long time.

    I love it!
     
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  2. Skyvillager
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    Skyvillager Silver Member

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    What a devilishly clever plot, Dovster, thanks for sharing!

    May I suggest: arrange for someone to “win” another jackpot on Slots B.

    With any luck the obnoxious guy will assume that gambling at this location will remain a losing proposition for a while, and find a different activity to entertain himself with.
     
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  3. Freddie Listo
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    Freddie Listo Gold Member

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    Ha! Brilliant, Dovster. This could be a Larry David story. Thanks for the laugh :)

    Addendum: It's now Sunday afternoon. I'm still laughing about this, and Dov, I'm going to share your story with my Dad who always appreciates a good one.
     
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  4. jbcarioca
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    jbcarioca Gold Member

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    This is absolutely the best Dovster story i have ever heard. Spectacular!:D Sir, it is a pleasure to be beginning to know you.
     
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  5. Gargoyle
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    Gargoyle Milepoint Guide

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    You do realize that 20 years from now you'll be able to walk into that car wash place, the owners will spot you, start laughing and give you a huge hug. They will never forget, and they'll tell their grandchildren about that famous day.
     
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  6. ACMM
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    I like your style 'D' !! :D

    [Sent from my milePoint enabled iPhone]
     
  7. Dovster
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    Dovster Gold Member

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    I went back there today. The owners had told the story to "the regulars", who laughed themselves silly. I have a feeling that in a very short time everyone in the village will know about it -- if they don't already.
     
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  8. ACMM
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    Maybe you will get a free car wash ;)

    [Sent from my milePoint enabled iPhone]
     
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