Goodies For TSA Officers

Discussion in 'Travel Security' started by ItsADryCold, Mar 18, 2011.  |  Print Topic

  1. ItsADryCold
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    ItsADryCold Silver Member

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    I'm looking for something small I can give to all the TSA officers out there on the Frontier of Freedom as I undergo the screening process. Something inexpensive, yet something that expresses exactly what I think of what they're doing. Suggestions?
     
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  2. Captain Oveur
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    Captain Oveur Gold Member

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    A copy of The Constitution would be nice.
     
  3. PhlyingRPh
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    PhlyingRPh Silver Member

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    I take it you wish to demonstrate appreciation of what TSO's do? Well, fair enough - we all have our own opinion I suppose. So, what I have done in the past is keep a small bag of those Ghirardelli chocolate squares and give them to random people (and even a TSO here and there) who I enjoyed interacting with on my travels. I've also done this with mini-Toblerones and Kit-Kats.

    Now, in the interest of honesty, I will say that most of these were nicked from various airline club snack bars, but it's the thought that counts, isn't it?
     
  4. ItsADryCold
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    Perfect. What I now need to do is to get on a first name basis with a TSA screener so he can supply me with a steady stream of stolen confiscated goodies which I can then cycle back to other screeners as a token of my esteem.

    It'll give a whole new meaning to the phrase two fingers of scotch.
     
  5. PhlyingRPh
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    PhlyingRPh Silver Member

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    The other option is to leave valuables half hanging out of your bag as you place it on the conveyor, and if they are gone when you meet your bag at the other side, well, you've just achieved your purpose, haven't you?
     
  6. bluesky
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    bluesky Gold Member

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    I assume he means somewhat the opposite :)

    How about a lump of coal?

    Or a small square of chocolate that's actually one of those laxative chocolates?
     
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  7. cvsara
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    cvsara Gold Member

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    This past January, I shipped three 750 Ml bottles (glass) of my 'special' Margarita's on a flight from PIA/Ord/OGG, in my luggage. I put a very nice note in with them, addressed to TSA, advising them of what the contents of the bottles were, and please don't dump, confiscate, or 'borrow' them, but sampling was ok with me. Just but the caps back on tight. They would have been hooked, if they were Margarita drinkers, you have to trust me on that one. Well, when they arrived, intact and undamaged, in my luggage at OGG, the only thing, beside the greetings tag they put in your riffled through luggage, was my note with 4 or 5 little drops of the liquid that they drop on most every thing to see if its what ever it is they are testing for. Very tasty on the beach, I might add.
    Gotta love TSA.
     
  8. PhlyingRPh
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    Oh I see. Silly me. In that case, a trip to the Adult store is probably in order.
     
  9. Travel2Food
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    Travel2Food Silver Member

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    A four ounce tube of KY... :eek:
     
  10. cvsara
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    Great Idea! But make it a 7 oz, or bigger, what ever will make them take it from you. Then, when they, do, Just smile. Don't know if it would be wise to say "Just for you all" It would be a good time to JSTFU.
     
  11. Jimgotkp
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    Furry handcuffs? :p
     
  12. N965VJ
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    I heard from a FA that had a set of "luv cuffs" confiscated at the checkpoint for being a restraint device. She was non-reving to a friends bachelorette party. :D
     
  13. AKGUY
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    AKGUY Silver Member

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    After the last few days the only thing I will ever leave intentionally for those crayon users are the used tissues from both pickets:mad:
     
  14. AKGUY
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    And don't forget to put your used undies right on top so they have something interesting to go through first.

    YUP still :mad: that they did such a poor job adjusting my ....at the hudoscope
     
  15. Justin Johnson
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    Justin Johnson Silver Member

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    Been there done that. On the way home from Hawaii a few friends and I packed our bags full of adult toys and very adult magazines. To make sure they would search my carry on bags I wrapped a metal studded belt around a personal "massager". The TSA person was not very happy when she pulled out the belt and the massager fell out and turned on when it hit the ground.
     
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  16. FriendlySkies
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    Three month subscription to Monster.com?
     
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  17. GreyedOut
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    Chances are any gift pleasant or otherwise would only be met with a high degree of suspicion. :eek:
     
  18. Infinite1K
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    Or you could do something similar to what Penn and Teller do and order one of those card sized pieces of metal that has the 4th Amendment written on it and is bound to trigger the metal detector. When the TSA agent asks you for the card, you can say "are you taking away my 4th Amendment right?"
     
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  19. lili
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    lili Gold Member

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    Some sort of digital expression of your feelings? Anything material would be a bribe in any other country.
     
  20. Infinite1K
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    TSA is a US thing, right? Not sure what the bribes in other countries has to do with it.
     
  21. lili
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    lili Gold Member

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    Clumsy way of referencing the US feeling of superiority that our country's citizens don't take or offer bribes but that other countries do as matter of course. Although we know bribes have been taken, and obviously given by some very famous US citizens.
     

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