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Discussion in 'Other Airlines | Europe' started by uggboy, Feb 26, 2014.
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Flights to US will cost just €10 on Ryanair – O'Leary
I'm sure that's "base fare".
There will be a per-mile fee, too.
Indeed, everything else beside the "base fare" will be extra incl. all meals / drinks / bags. We wouldn't expect anything else from Ryanair!
Can't get planes? I heard there are some half-priced 787s available from Boeing.
They will charge you extra for a carry on wallet, a cup of water, a seat belt, to take a pee, to breathe while inflight and whatever else they might come up with.
Yes, this sounds like Ryanair to me.
And don't forget optional cabin pressurization either.
And if you dare to want to watch a movie they'll take your credit card, keep the tab open and will charge you by the minute.
Bench seating with no recline, or the option of standing room only seating (unwashed kettle masses only allowed on them....can't wait!) at over 42% off, with a slight upcharge for seatbelts of 58% more.
Where is Freddie Laker when you need him?
Of course, Ryanair's elite fliers may not like the seatmap setup. Kettle Class (K) has now been relegated to the front 7/8's of the aircraft, as that's where the majority of the airline's income devolves. The few L class passengers (lavatory class, as we all know of course) which is the new designation for the elite few ticket holders, will now be seated at the very rearest area of the B787, so as to be nearer that facility for which their higher paid status entitles them. Of course their higher ticket costs will as usual entitle them to cold nuts that have been heavily salted (no charge for them of course) and warmer ice wines in large amounts (ice cubes available at a slight premium), but being seated in the relative closer proximity to the lavs will justify the lower additional addon cost to the elites for their useage, and give those elites seated closer to the facilities the ability to use them first and foremost and more often as needed, and without the hinderence of frequently being in the (gasp) same lineups as kettles for more then several minutes. Free rubber ear plugs will only be provided for those elites seated in the 1/8 area selected exclusively for their comfort and convenience as the jetblast noise from behind the engines is slightly higher, and will be included in the L class amenity kits to be distributed to them (when asked for only) which also includes a short pencil for form filling in (pens? are you kidding?) and of course a small hand wipe for wiping hands after eating their rameken of salted nuts.