Fear of flying question

Discussion in 'General Discussion | Travel' started by MissBurrill, Mar 9, 2013.  |  Print Topic

  1. MissBurrill
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    MissBurrill Gold Member

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    I love flying. The excitement of the take off, knowing I'm going somewhere exciting and the fun of the landing. We're getting married in Hawaii later this year. We'd spoken about going overseas to Fiji or Hawaii and nothing had been said by Mr's parents. We announced Hawaii as our wedding location. We made plans and bookings. Then Mr's parents had their daughter-in-law tell me on facebook that they aren't coming. They hadn't bothered to tell Mr.

    Mr spoke to his Mum briefly yesterday and apparently she is scared of flying. This woman has flown across Australia a few times. Could someone with an unbiased mind please explain to me why she is doing this? Is it the ocean? I'm taking it rather personally right now and would love an explanation.
     
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  2. MX

    MX Gold Member

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    Are you asking if it's possible to have a phobia of flying over water, but not over dry land? Yes, phobias are irrational, so can take any possible form. Of course it's also possible that this one is just an excuse, and your MIL is really afraid or embarrassed about something else that might happen during a trip with you. If it's really important to you to resolve this issue prior to the wedding, you'll have to have an honest and understanding discussion directly with her.
     
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  3. MissBurrill
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    MissBurrill Gold Member

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    Thank you M7VO for your reply. You nailed it. I was surprised that she is saying she is scared of flying but has flown before. They live in a different city so talking in person isn't easy. It's a good idea though but right now I'm too annoyed to ask them questions.

    I should mention they can afford a trip to Hawaii so money isn't an issue.
     
  4. MX

    MX Gold Member

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    Maybe you can delegate this issue to your fiance, as you probably have enough on your plate at the moment. ;)
     
  5. whilst clearly your call where you choose to marry, do you think they may have been annoyed that it wasn't raised in discussion with them? was it just announced?
     
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  6. MissBurrill
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    MissBurrill Gold Member

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    When we visited them at Christmas we told them it would be in Brisbane, Fiji or Hawaii. They had no objections when we asked what they thought. Mr's Aunt told us off for considering overseas. She said it had to be about our guests and not what we want!

    We discussed with both sets of parents and all were happy for us to choose. There was no objections from the parents.
     
  7. guberif

    guberif Silver Member

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    Not to be a conspiracy theorist, but do you suspect that the "fear of flying" isn't 100% true? There are just a few things that don't add up...
     
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  8. MissBurrill
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    MissBurrill Gold Member

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    Yes. I suspect she has created a fear of flying as an excuse not to attend. I was hoping someone could educate me otherwise but right now I'm of the belief she doesn't want to go.
     
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  9. choosing an overseas destination when celebrating a special occasion, and wanting others to join you in that celebration, if that's what you really want, is going to raise hurdles for some people, did you consider at the time the parents may not have been able to raise the issue directly? do you think the aunt was their voice as well? it's not a great start if having good family relations are important to you and or your fiancee, having said that it's a gradual separation from the families of origin in any case, you're just kicking off early, all the best with your wedding in Hawaii:)
     
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  10. could be a good thing, concentrate on the romantic occasion for you and your husband to be, make sure you have some photographic evidence, stills and video, so when you get pregnant they'll be accepting of you;)
     
  11. MissBurrill
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    MissBurrill Gold Member

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    The Aunt told me off for putting custard on my chocolate cake. Apparently only those having fruit cake were allowed custard. I don't like fruit cake but I like custard. She's always sour on things so I figured her telling us off for considering oversea was the Aunt being her usual self.
     
  12. fair enough, no wucken forries, was the the wicked one from the east?:D
     
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  13. if the aunt really annoys you any more you could shout this guy a flight;):D where are you from in Aus, i grew up in Melbourne and lived in Sydney later on, now in the US

     
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  14. MissBurrill
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    MissBurrill Gold Member

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    We're in Brisbane and they are in Sydney. We at least get warning when they are coming to town.
     
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  15. HaveMilesWillTravel
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    HaveMilesWillTravel Gold Member

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    Well she seems to be quite the fruitcake .... expert ;)
     
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  16. desamo

    desamo Gold Member

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    I have had a fear of flying to some degree most of my life. It wasn't enough to keep me from going, but it was enough to make sleep difficult and to make me fearful and stressed on my flights.

    Curiously, that was completely cured by reading Michael Crichton's Airframe. My husband, who has also been flying all of his life, also said it made him feel more comfortable, too.

    That may not be helpful (as other people say, it may just be discomfort about going to a wedding overseas), but I offer it in case it does help.
     
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  17. MissBurrill
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    MissBurrill Gold Member

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    Thank you desamo. I'll suggest it to Mr to suggest to his Mum. Did you find flying over water to bring on stronger feelings than over land? I could explain to Mr's Mum that the flight goes near a number of runways on the flight from SYD-HNL but I don't know if that will help.
     
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  18. desamo

    desamo Gold Member

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    For me, flying over mountains was always my greatest fear, in part because of the increased risk of turbulence (which is what frightened me the most).

    For SYD-HNL, it would need a two-engine craft certified for ETOPs 180 or an aircraft with more engines like a 747. More about ETOPS.

    It appears that the non-stop routes SYD-HNL from HA and JQ are all Airbus 330-series craft, which are twin engine. The industry has been moving away from aircraft with more engines for fuel cost reasons, so this doesn't surprise me.
     
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  19. MissBurrill
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    MissBurrill Gold Member

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    Qantas used to have 747's on this route but now use 767's because they don't have much competition.

    I could suggest HA or JQ business class to Mr's parents but I doubt it will change their decision. I guess the good thing is I won't have her complaining about the dinner menu the night of the wedding :D
     
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  20. i lived in Burleigh Heads for a few years, it's a nice part of the world:)
     
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  21. marcwint55

    marcwint55 Gold Member

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    Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. I personally believe in being upfront and candid with family, as you are stuck with them for a long time. I would not be afraid to bluntly ask if it is truly a fear of flying or something else. If it is something else, it would be best to resolve the issue sooner rather than later. If it is truly a fear of flying and you want the family present, you may have to re-consider. My wife and I made many sacrifices throughout the years for our parents, and I truly wish they were still with us so we could sacrifice some more.
     
  22. desamo

    desamo Gold Member

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    On the dates I checked, QF is a codeshare operated by JQ.

    There is that. :)
     
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  23. MissBurrill
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    MissBurrill Gold Member

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    After finding out about his parents not attending I suggested to Mr that we get married in Oz before we fly to Hawaii. So far ony Mr's brother has booked (2 adults, 2 children) so we could get away with that. Mr said no, we're sticking with Hawaii.
     
  24. marcwint55

    marcwint55 Gold Member

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    You have to do what you feel most comfortable with, especially since you will be spending considerably more time with Mr. than with his family.
     
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  25. MissBurrill
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    MissBurrill Gold Member

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    Alot of people book the QF flight number and complain when they end up on a JQ codeshare. The website is clear that you're flying JQ and if there are no flights on QF metal you are redirected to the JQ website. Gives me a laugh when I read some rants on facebook.

    I looked at the QF website and they fly three times a week. At least the crew would get a few days in Hawaii before flying home. I think I've gone off topic......
     
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