Do Travel Friendships Last?

Discussion in 'General Discussion | Travel' started by Chimpy, Apr 12, 2011.  |  Print Topic

  1. Chimpy
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    Chimpy Gold Member

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  2. Concerto
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    Great article! But, sadly, I have to agree with both the author and you. Most of the friendships (except for two) that I've made while traveling simply have not stood the test of time. Yes, we shared drinks and secrets and laughs but the correspondence dropped off quickly once we returned to our respective lives. Too bad, really...

    OTOH, I lost a friendship by traveling with someone I did not know well enough -- she always had to be in control and make all of the decisions. But, that is a whole other topic!! :D
     
  3. Derek
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    Derek Silver Member

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    Most of my travel friendships are made in bars/nightclubs. I don't intend for them to last more than a night! I'm too tired to write one, but normally I would make some joke about hotel check-outs being the best excuse to get rid of, um, a (non-Starwood) lurker.
     
  4. Derek
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    Derek Silver Member

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    More seriously though, I must say I find my closest/longest lasting friendships have involved travel, but of a different sort than mentioned in the above article. I've found that moving (a type of travel, if you will) tends to strengthen friendships. Many of my best friends are from college/high school, and live all over the place. I think that time/distance has actually made these bonds stronger. At least in my case, time tends to strengthen fond memories, and weaken negative ones, while distance makes it hard to become tired of/annoyed with someone. Too much of a good thing can be just that. Too much.
     
  5. Kagehitokiri
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    Kagehitokiri Silver Member

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    "never" = rolleyes

    i guess they are differentiating between purely personal relationships and professional connections.

    and what is the difference between meeting someone while traveling and meeting someone online?

    i need to find people to travel with...
     
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  6. NYBanker
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    Indeed, sadly quite few ever hold. I think of them more as snapshots into peoples lives more than anything else.

    Against that, travel with pre-existing friends (assuming they're of similar means and spending comfort on travel) often significantly deepens those relationships.
     
  7. Tor Viking
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    In many of my travels, those I have contact with are from hostels. As of today I have many of them on facebook and we still have the odd talk now and then. Of course many fade away when these people get married and have kids and such, but if you had that special contact and first impression was good, they'll last. Some of these I met in Hawaii 10 years ago and the friendship is still going strong :)
     
  8. Bob Smolinsky
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    Bob Smolinsky Gold Member

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    In all honestly, I never expect them to last.........
     
  9. torbster
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    torbster Silver Member

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    Some last some don't, facts of life. I have met a lot of people I've traveled with, who I stay in contact with and visit or travel and hang out with from time to time. And I've also met a lot of people I'll probably never see or speak to again. Same can be said about childhood friends, school friends, army friends, work friends etc.
     
  10. milchap
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    milchap Gold Member

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    The promises made to keep in contact are exactly what they are.....promises ...which are never kept.
     
  11. techauthor
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    techauthor Silver Member

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    I think it depends on expectations and definitions of friendship. Nearly everyone else shares vacation photos via flickr or similar, so we all have a chance to exchange email addresses. When I talk with people I meet on those tours I pay attention to them and their lives. Later on, when something crosses my desk that I think they'd be interested in, I forward a link. Some reciprocate. If my work takes me through their home town, I might suggest meeting for drinks/dinner one night. Given that my expectations are set realistically, I get some after-the-tour "friendships".

    However, looking back on just the last few years, with 2-3 vacations a year, there are only three couples that my wife and I have kept in touch with. One lives just a few hours away and we've seen them locally twice. That's the rare exception, and quite the treat.
     
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  12. jbcarioca
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    jbcarioca Gold Member

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    I never have expected them to last, but...
    1) I met Mrs. jb on a business trip 33 years ago when I lived in Bahrain and she in Rio de Janeiro. After an evening together (ten months absent in between) i proposed to her. She took a while to accept but she did and we have lived happily ever after.
    2) The two of us met a man from Hong Kong while touring in Rajasthan 15 years ago. We still mantain firendship.

    That is it. I have a few friends who became such after long acquaintance in ailrline clubs and flyig together but taht seems not to be the question the OP has posed.
     
  13. Bob Smolinsky
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    BTW, I do admit, going forward, if they have Gold or Platinum on MP I will extend the friendship further....;)
     
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  14. Eloy Fonseca Neto
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    Eloy Fonseca Neto Silver Member

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    The main problem is TIME, for all of us... we are current prisoners of our system and jobs and other things which make harder and harder to keep in touch, mainly because of the TIME!!!
     
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  15. OY-JFS
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    I do agree with OP. Nevertheless, I met some strangers at a beach bar 9 years ago. One of these guys is a very good friend today. I just visited him and his wife a week ago in their holiday residence in Ubatuba, Brazil.
     
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  16. violist
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    I certainly hope so.
     
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  17. Kagehitokiri
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    Kagehitokiri Silver Member

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    unfortunately when you spend on travel like a very wealthy person it becomes more about the latter than the former
     
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  18. DestinationDavid
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    DestinationDavid Milepoint Guide

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    I'm in the same boat as most people here. I've lost touch with most of the friends I've made while traveling, though there are a few that I've managed to keep in touch with. I went to Argentina on a whim with two guys I'd never met before but had chatted with for a year on a travel website. One of them is still a good friend, the other I haven't heard from in ages. Interestingly when I was visiting this friend at his home in LAS we met up with a woman from Norway and went on a tour of Death Valley. We ended up keeping in touch and and are very friendly to this day. She's coming to ORD to see me this year and all three of us are going to try to meet up in Europe next year.

    I ended a 2 year relationship after we took our first vacation together. There's nothing like being trapped on a cruise ship with someone for a week to make you realize there is absolutely no way you can spend the rest of your life dealing with THAT.
     
  19. Bay Pisco Shark
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    Travel friendships when you are both on vacation, and have no other ties, probably the article is right. I can't think of one that has lasted. Travel friendships when you have something else in common, like "hey, you live a couple miles from me" - different story, as well as when you meet people who aren't on vacation - some of those have lasted for years.
     
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  20. Kagehitokiri
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    well obviously you have to travel well together, but i dont care where i meet those people (online, traveling, etc) im going to keep traveling with them
     
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  21. torbster
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    I very much agree that time is important in being able to keep in touch with people who doesn't live close to you.

    But I have to say I thought where this article failed was in trying to generalize something that seems to be just the writers own established standpoint. He talks about no emails exchanged and a telephone that doesn't ring, but keeping in touch isn't one-way communication. If you show no initiative or interest, then the other person will inevitably lose interest as well. If you don't tell anyone you're traveling somewhere, no-one is going to join you. And if you don't invite people to come visit you, chances are they won't.
     
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  22. jbcarioca
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    This is very true. relationships do demand two way communication.
     
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  23. mynameismud
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    Before Facebook, it was close to 0%, now it has maybe raised up to 5%....As others posters mentionned, keeping Friendship alive involves time and efforts...
     
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  24. torbster
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    Love your name man, I need to brush the dust off Pork Soda soon, haven't listened to Primus in ages :)
     
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  25. DonV.Smith
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    I fall in line with many others here... There are plenty of folks I've committed to staying in touch with over the years, and only a couple that I till do - and that gets more difficult as our careers shift in different directions.

    In college (a lifetime ago), I was used to be part of a handful of folks that traveled to other colleges/universities to meet up with others we'd met on line (chat rooms before there was a www... yes, I was a nerd - and still am :rolleyes:). Typically there was a lot of drinking going on and put faces on who we were in a pretty positive manner... to some degree like the meetups, only we didn't necessarily have any good tips to share (short of mixed drink recipes). There are a few of them I've stayed in touch with, too... but time and separation have come in the way of many of those friendships too.
     
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