I often bring aboard a small gift for the crews and tonight, I was chagrined to find myself reacting badly to the reactions of the crew. The other crew members did not thank me for the gift and I found myself getting upset about that, and gee, wow, how very off the mark I was being! I had to recall that a gift is a gift, it is not given with any expectations in return. I had gotten so used to thanks etc that I had forgotten the basics, to give freely without requiring anything in return. I have become a DYKWIA type..... arggh!
A 'thank you' should certainly be offered up by the gift recipient, unless you are giving them really nasty homemade cookies. Then a 'not this crap again' is certainly warrented.
the first sign of recovery is to admit you have a problem. You're well on your way to shedding your DYKWIA personna. Congratulations!
I think your reaction was just about perfect! You should expect a thank-you when you give a gift, so you have a right to be a little peeved when you don't get one (manners are important!). But on the other hand, you don't know how the recipient's day has gone -- perhaps they were distracted with other matters (either job or personal) and normally would have thanked you, etc... So before you got too upset, you caught yourself and decided to let it go. IMHO a perfectly normal and healthy response.
Part of being a grown up in a position with public contact is proper social skills. It didn't need to be love and kisses, but simple proper etiquette, even on a "bad day" is in order. As to the OP, don't let this ruin the future days of the crews that appreciate your gesture.
Yes, but part of being a "grown up" is figuring out that you don't have to let someone else's bad day ruin yours. (and if I may be so bold, is what the OP did).
I bring a little bag of chocolates, or a box of cookies, something for them to share. No, I certainly will continue to bring a long a gift at times because the reason for doing it is still the same, I appreciate the work they do and want to give thanks for the good service they have given me. (I know it is "their job" but I still appreciate how well they do it and the manner in which it is done)
I too appreciate, "Thank yous." No shame there... On my Christmas flights, I carry $5 Starbucks giftcards and give them out...often on my return flight to London after Christmas just to say thanks to the crew for working the crazy holiday season.
Your offer of a gift is very kind. Indeed, the recipient(s) should offer a thank you, even if they ultimately privately discard the gift. To not say thanks is pretty poor form for an not-insulting gift. One thought that does come to mind, however, dates back to when I was a CFO of a not for profit (on the side). Home cooked items at our different events caused us a lot of headaches...as invariably someone was allergic to something in the food (no labels on home-cooked goodies) or once or twice bad eggs (we think) were used in cookies. If I were an FA and a stranger gave me apparently home made cookies, I'd say thanks but ultimately discard them (out of sight, of course), versus take the risk of spoilt food ... Or a nefarious chef. Thinking about what I just wrote, it makes me question a bit of the society we live in. Fear of a bag of goodies from a seemingly charming lady (based on language used and that the OP's photo is herself) seems to be the wrong answer for society, but my feelings are formed entirely based on situations I've been in. As suggested earlier, a Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts gift card would do the trick...or packaged foods. (There probably is more risk in the bowl of olives at the DL SC than in your goodies!) Notwithstanding the dire sounding post, what you're doing is lovely. If more people did this, flying would be a lot more pleasant for all.
Thanks NYBanker, you know I did consider home made gifts and decided not to go that route for the very reasons you mentioned, and isn't that just a terrible shame! So, I buy packaged gifts (typically from an airport gift shop) and hand it over in the original carton, that is sealed just to ease their minds. I have brought gifts for crews where as the flight went on, I realized that a particular crew really did not "deserve" the extra thanks but I think that my gift still may have an impact of making the day go just a bit better for them, so perhaps they will "pay it forward" to others. I have spent a lot of time in airplanes in the last few years, and really appreciate how much nicer it is to fly now that I am an elite vs when I first started my frequent trips. When you only fly once every two years or so, on a "dream" vacation, the whole experience is magic, even in coach. Especially if you have never flown FC. Plus the main event is the destination, the flight is just the prelude, so being in coach is not the same downer. Now, when I am in coach I often get to select the exit row or bulkhead, giving me as much space as possible and I get to board early ensuring there is space for my carryon. Not to mention the thanks from the FAs as they come down the aisle with the beverage cart with the "free drink" thanks for being MVPG or MVPG75. That is the good side, the bad is sitting behind someone that reclines from the moment of take off until approach at the destination airport, or it is the person in the seat behind me that kicks my seat for most of the flight, or it is the person next to me that has sharp elbows that want to live in my ribs. The bad side is how much my knees hurt after sitting so long, but hey, that is life and the good that happens whether from the FAs or the interesting conversations with seat mates makes it enjoyable, even in the dreaded.. coach Wow, long rambling post!
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