Yes. This is a trip report. It involves travel from Lugano, Switzerland to Milan, Italy. As this trip generally takes less than an hour by car, it is not often that a trip report is written about it. This, however, was no ordinary trip. My UIG (Used Italian Girlfriend) lives in Milan. She also has a vacation home in Lugano and we went there on Thursday night (June 2). On Friday, I went to the casino in Lugano, played the slots and won 100 SWF (US $119). About 10 years ago I won $300 at those slots and decided to use the money to buy a Swiss watch. I wound up with an inexpensive Tissot. This time, I decided to take the $100 and put it towards the price of a more expensive one. I went shopping on Saturday and wound up with another Tissot, but this one ran 695 SWF ($827). Still, I was happy with it and even more so when I went back to the casino after buying the watch and hit big on the slots -- collecting an additional 600 SWF, which meant that the watch was free. That's where my good luck ended. I drove to the UIG's house, told her we were going to dinner to celebrate, and found myself forking out 100 SWF for a meal which did not even include wine. When we returned to her house, for some reason which I still can't understand, neither one of us noticed that I forgot to turn off the lights on her car. In the morning, the battery was dead. She called the Swiss Auto Club which sent someone to charge the battery. It took him about 30 seconds and it cost me 200 SWF -- $238! Then we got into the car to drive to Milan and I made my next big mistake. I stopped at the border to go into the Swiss Customs Office to get back my VAT (29 SWF) for the watch. If I had known what would happen, I would have passed on the money and driven right into Italy. While I was in the Customs Office, a bus pulled up next to our car. The Italian police brought a drug-sniffing dog to check in the baggage department of the bus. He found nothing but went bananas when he walked past our car. I was still inside but the UIG was in the car and soon found herself surrounded by 6 Italian police (including one plain clothes man) who were asking her a bunch of questions. When I got back, they had me take all of our suitcases (and we had a bunch) out of the car. The dog sniffed them, didn't find anything, and then went into the car (and its trunk). This dog kept insisting there were drugs there somewhere but couldn't locate any. The police pulled out the chairs and looked under the mats but still found nothing, Then they brought me and my bags into one room and the UIG and her bags into another. They searched through everything, while asking us questions. I knew we had no illegal drugs but I did get a bit nervous when they opened one bag in which I carry a lot of medicines. I was especially worried about one bottle which was not marked but had Metamucil capsules in it. I was very surprised when they just asked, "Medicines?" I said yes and they accepted it. They seemed much more curious about a container which had a travel shaving brush inside. They had never seen one before. Finally, after comparing the answers that I gave to their questions with the answers the UIG gave, they seemed satisified and wished us a good trip. Neither the UIG or I could figure out what that dog had sniffed until we got back to Milan. On Thursday, I had arrived at Malpensa Airport from Israel. The UIG also arrived there from a trip to China. She had broken her toe on the trip, was treated at a Chinese hospital, and was given pain killers -- which she was told to take only when she really needed them as they contained an opiate. She still had some left and, apparently, the dog was not a trained Chinese pharmacist who could confirm that the pills were, indeed, for medicinal purposes.